And With That... .

I actually wanted to write the 2022 caleidoscope from a bigger scope. 

Yes, as you probably expected, this article would be full of facts and opinions about politics, economics, and every aspect which ended by -ic at the end.

Writing about G20, global economic recession, and local issues that we have seen in our media. Those are fascinating to be told and discussed. 

But then I was thinking about something

Why should I always look to the outside when I could see the inside? 

So, everyone. This is my caleidoscope. 

I don't know what the ending would look like, but I tried to write this. 

2022 for me was a hope. 

As we knew, we have passed the Covid-19 outbreak which hit us in the early 2020. But the thing that went around inside my head was 

"How could I survive from a huge conflict and start with everything I have?"

It was tough yet challenging. 

I faced all of the things that came into my life. Started from being a teacher who needs to adapt work permanently from the office. Manage the students' learning process until had to manage some events, and went to my hometown for the first time after a decade I lost a lot of things including my grandparents' death when I had to move into a new job and (of course) a new office with its not-so-familiar dynamics, and so on. 

I also lost my cat, Puspita. 

She passed away this month. I found her stiffed body in front of my house's door. 

It was my mistake and can't forget that I didn't see and pet her last night before she has gone. 

I realized, 2022 wasn't a hope, it was a complex lesson for me. 

From this year, I learned how to control myself and try not to control everything. 

From this year, I learned how to look for the chances and plans while I was in a critical situation.

From this year, I earned the awareness that I can not do everything by myself. I need some aid in some situations.

From this year, I learn how to cope with my anxiety. Fear of being abandoned, being nothing, being useless, and any other things. But it is still in process. 

But, the most important thing, I met people. I got closer to know some people. 

Because of people (maybe including you who read this), I got some valuable things that made me survive. Even I still did not expect I am still alive and able to write on the 31st of December this year. 

2023. What would it be? 

I don't know for sure. But like it or not, we still have to prepare for the worst (again). 

Try to find out how to survive in the next year. How to reach our own dreams. 

Try to believe in ourselves. 

Never lose hope, okay?

Can you make a promise to yourself that you will survive even just for something that you love? 

Still alive and conscious for your unread books or for your mom who never let you down whatever her condition is.  

I know you can. 

And with that, the 2022 season comes to and end. 

Good night.